i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
