i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
