420 ftw
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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