Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Someone signed my nipple.
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