I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
