She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
