Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
