oh god the rape fog is back!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
