Only a mothe r could love this liver
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
