I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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