do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
