just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do vagina's smell?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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