Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
