He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my poor anus
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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