I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I want a musical about memes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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