bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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