my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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