so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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