Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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