you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
