I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
