I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
