apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
