I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
