Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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