Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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