im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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