Yo dont text me then not text me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
