Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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