i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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