I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
