if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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