# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize