When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
