Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
