As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
