So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
