a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
