told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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