my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
