spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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