he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
