Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
