she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize