I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
