but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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