we're chasing vodka with high fives
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
