You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
