so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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