I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize