She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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