can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
