first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
