My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
