neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
