i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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