I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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