hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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