The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
