Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
my poor anus
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize