I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
