Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
