Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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