I think my vagina is haunted
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
