We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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