So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
