Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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