why do cheetos always look like penises
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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