Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
