this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
