i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
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