um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My bed smells like the plague
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
