By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
