OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize