so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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