I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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