Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
how drunk are you?
Several
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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