if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
