At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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