You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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