Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
